I guess the most important conclusion I came to is that there is no way in hell I am making my self-imposed deadline of April 24th for this book to be done. In fact, for the second time in as many months, I had to take a deep breath, stop what I was writing, and start over again. I've got about 10 pages of stuff I can work with, but I had to go back to the basics and begin my outlines over again. It's not so much that the story isn't going anywhere, it's just that I keep getting bogged down in the details. Something in me wants to report every footstep, every moment, every heartbeat, but for one thing, it would make the book a thousand pages long, and for another, it would be some mighty boring reading. So I've got a journal, and I've handwritten my notes so far, and my timelines, and hopefully this will help me to hit the actions / scenes / points on the trajectory that I need to make happen, along with weaving in the outside elements that will hopefully give the story a broader perspective.
Today is my first day back in the office and while I'm glad to be here, I'm having some trouble making the transition back. Mostly because I just want to write, but I don't want to write the projects that I have to work on. And I'm feeling, like everyone else who is back after ten days of vacation, more than a little swamped. And more than a little worried about all of the things I have to accomplish.
And then there's the other stuff. Like finding out how you react in your secret heart when you hear that your first serious boyfriend and his wife are expecting twins. It makes you wonder how the Universe really works. It makes you wonder exactly what is being handed out, fairly and unfairly. Some of us get scars on our knees, still visible, from the day we landed on that sidewalk at the bottom of a flight of concrete stairs in South Philly. Others get marriage and children. And it makes you wonder what you really want. It makes you wonder what you should be grateful for.
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