Reunion Update

I've been in touch with Jim S. today and I do think at some level he is sorry for the level of negativity he has unleashed on the reunion. I am still not planning to attend. But he has asked me to post an "apology" (and I use that term liberally) that he wrote early this morning to the original group of people Bill forwarded the email to. In the interest of fairness, I am doing so.

The "second email" that Jim mentions, for the record, was sent half an hour later and bascially was an attempt to retract the first. The damage, at this point, had been done. If it was meant to be a joke, and that is giving HUGE benefit of the doubt, it wasn't funny. I am also not sure how Bill was expected to know "it was a joke" since he literally hasn't spoken to Jim in 10 years.

I personally do not buy the joke scenario. I don't think he is fooling anyone and it's an insult to our intelligence to suggest otherwise.

I offered Jim the opportunity if he wanted to write another apology to the class and said I would be happy to post his note to my Facebook page and my blog, but this seems to be as far as he was willing to go.

I am not going to comment further; in fact I hope this is my last comment on the matter. We're all smart people: judge for yourself.
__________________________________________________________

I received your email this morning. Let me begin by simply saying the
original e-mail I sent Bill has been taken way way out of context. I
was completely kidding! To ensure Bill knew that I was kidding I
subsequently sent another e-mail right after the first indicating as
such. I further mentioned to Bill how I was looking forward to seeing
him and even addressed some of his very valid concerns.

I don't know why Bill would choose to send only the first e-mail knowing I
was kidding. I would never NEVER intentionally offend Bill or anyone
else like that. I am truly sorry for the miscommunication. Obviously,
my sense of humor is different than yours and that many others perhaps.
That's OK as it's what, in part, makes us all different. And if I
offended anyone with my sense of humor (or lack thereof) I am very
sorry. I'm not sure if you came to the 10th but we had an awesome time.
All we are trying to do is much of the same as 10 years ago. Please, if
I upset you or anyone else, accept my apologies. Again, I had no
intention to do so and now feel terrible about the whole matter.

Disgusting

Jewish tradition dictates that one does not keep silent in the face of an injustice. Therefore, I am posting this email exchange (below) because I want people to see how one of the organizers of my 20th high school reunion has responded to constructive criticism with a disgusting and vitriolic email to a fellow classmate.

Our class website message board has been used to promote hateful comments about classmates, including racial slurs, anti-gay language, and believe it or not, jokes about gang-raping a classmate's mother.

Additionally, our reunion has been costed at $110 per person - not a huge amount but perhaps a hardship for many who are going through difficult economic times right now - who maybe don't feel comfortable swinging $110 (or $220 a couple for that matter).

Our HS held a dinner last week at the same location as the reunion for $35 per person. And no, there's no gift to the school being organized out of that amount.

When my friend Bill offered some ideas about the reunion, he received this response from the lead organizer.

All I have to say about this is: Once a bully, always a bully. I know that I'm not going to reward this behavior by attending, since for me, this has really taken away the good spirit that should surround a class get-together. I'm outraged and disgusted at this hate speech, pure and simple.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Hey there/20th reunion...
Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2008 10:18:33 -0400
From: xxxxxx@xxxx.com
To: bill@XXXX.com

Bill,
I have a few suggestions of my own for you:
1. Why don't you step up and take the reigns for the 25th. You'd undoubtedly do better than Vern and me.

2. Come out of the cave you live in. More than 75% of the class is aware of the site and the reunion. A higher rate than most reunions.

3. If you can't afford $110 perhaps you need to find a better job.

4. STAY THE FUCK HOME. How's that for offensive?
I was torn between that and GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Thanks for listening to my suggestions Bill.

Regards,
Jim

-----Original Message-----
From: WILLIAM EDELSTEIN
Sent: Sat Oct 11 10:58:33 2008
Subject: Hey there/20th reunion...

Dear Jim and Chris,

I hope this email finds you well.

Thank you for all of the work that you have put into the 20th reunion. I know from my own planning of events that it is not an easy endeavor to engage people and coordinate all of the details. It is really wonderful that you put together that website and has helped us all begin to reconnect. I am hopeful I can attend but it isn't the greatest weekend for me.

I apologize for sounding like a Monday morning quarterback but I am only learning of this all and I had a couple of suggestions that I hope you will be receptive to hearing. I have only recently moved back to NYC after being out west for nearly seven years.

I think that you might want to reconsider how elaborate this event is going to be given the current economic climate. We are scaling back all of our events at work this fall due to everything going on. It may help to bring more people to the event if you just kept it more simple thereby lowering the cost. $110 is pretty high -- especially for couples -- perhaps lowering the cost to $80 per person (and refunding those people who already paid) might be a consideration.

I also have to be honest -- I know that the website message board has really been a forum for people to just let loose and reconnect but many of the comments are offensive. People, including me, have looked at that board and have been offended which doesn't bode well for garnering interest in this reunion. I do not feel comfortable attending a reunion with what has been referred to and is still up on that board...and I'm not the only one.

In any case, take my suggestions as you will -- I mean no disrespect. I found you both to be really welcoming at the last reunion...and I wish you only the best.

Best regards,
Bill

______________________________________________________

Comments are welcome.

Biblical Prohibition of the Day

From the TMI department....there just might be something about that ancient religious prohibition against women cooking whilst, well, incapacitated by the monthly visitor.

Last night, I got home from my Board of Trustees meeting, all exhausted and pissy and starving. So I put some leftovers in the toaster oven and boiled up some frozen tortellini in some soup. Anyway, as it hit the boiling point, I did my usual, turn off the heat and cover. Only I forgot to turn off the heat. So my lovely tortellini soup ended up something like this:



(This was actually someone's pear and wine reduction that she left on the stove for three hours. Believe it or not, the tortellini looked pretty damn close to this. Just less pink.)

And as if that wasn't bad enough, apparently my leftovers from the Cheesecake Factory (half a chicken sandwich) were, unbeknownst to me, wrapped in plastic. My toaster oven? Doesn't like plastic so much. I'll spare you the photo.

For some reason, the Visitor tends to make me spazzy. Clumsy, moody, prone to accidents in the kitchen and outside. But this was the worst so far. I don't think my saucepan is going to survive this. It's sitting in my sink and as of this morning, the burn marks weren't going anywhere. And the smell is even worse. Like someone set a recycling bin on fire.

Moral of the story: I am so doing take-out for the rest of the week.