Disgusting

Jewish tradition dictates that one does not keep silent in the face of an injustice. Therefore, I am posting this email exchange (below) because I want people to see how one of the organizers of my 20th high school reunion has responded to constructive criticism with a disgusting and vitriolic email to a fellow classmate.

Our class website message board has been used to promote hateful comments about classmates, including racial slurs, anti-gay language, and believe it or not, jokes about gang-raping a classmate's mother.

Additionally, our reunion has been costed at $110 per person - not a huge amount but perhaps a hardship for many who are going through difficult economic times right now - who maybe don't feel comfortable swinging $110 (or $220 a couple for that matter).

Our HS held a dinner last week at the same location as the reunion for $35 per person. And no, there's no gift to the school being organized out of that amount.

When my friend Bill offered some ideas about the reunion, he received this response from the lead organizer.

All I have to say about this is: Once a bully, always a bully. I know that I'm not going to reward this behavior by attending, since for me, this has really taken away the good spirit that should surround a class get-together. I'm outraged and disgusted at this hate speech, pure and simple.

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Subject: Re: Hey there/20th reunion...
Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2008 10:18:33 -0400
From: xxxxxx@xxxx.com
To: bill@XXXX.com

Bill,
I have a few suggestions of my own for you:
1. Why don't you step up and take the reigns for the 25th. You'd undoubtedly do better than Vern and me.

2. Come out of the cave you live in. More than 75% of the class is aware of the site and the reunion. A higher rate than most reunions.

3. If you can't afford $110 perhaps you need to find a better job.

4. STAY THE FUCK HOME. How's that for offensive?
I was torn between that and GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Thanks for listening to my suggestions Bill.

Regards,
Jim

-----Original Message-----
From: WILLIAM EDELSTEIN
Sent: Sat Oct 11 10:58:33 2008
Subject: Hey there/20th reunion...

Dear Jim and Chris,

I hope this email finds you well.

Thank you for all of the work that you have put into the 20th reunion. I know from my own planning of events that it is not an easy endeavor to engage people and coordinate all of the details. It is really wonderful that you put together that website and has helped us all begin to reconnect. I am hopeful I can attend but it isn't the greatest weekend for me.

I apologize for sounding like a Monday morning quarterback but I am only learning of this all and I had a couple of suggestions that I hope you will be receptive to hearing. I have only recently moved back to NYC after being out west for nearly seven years.

I think that you might want to reconsider how elaborate this event is going to be given the current economic climate. We are scaling back all of our events at work this fall due to everything going on. It may help to bring more people to the event if you just kept it more simple thereby lowering the cost. $110 is pretty high -- especially for couples -- perhaps lowering the cost to $80 per person (and refunding those people who already paid) might be a consideration.

I also have to be honest -- I know that the website message board has really been a forum for people to just let loose and reconnect but many of the comments are offensive. People, including me, have looked at that board and have been offended which doesn't bode well for garnering interest in this reunion. I do not feel comfortable attending a reunion with what has been referred to and is still up on that board...and I'm not the only one.

In any case, take my suggestions as you will -- I mean no disrespect. I found you both to be really welcoming at the last reunion...and I wish you only the best.

Best regards,
Bill

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Comments are welcome.